Sunday, March 12, 2006

This week's Celebrity News by Chantelle


Oh my God, right, so it's like, I don't want to become overexposed and that, so my mum agent says I should be more low-key and stuff. So I've gotten me a tutor wot taught me to press the buttons on a computer-typewriter (you know, where the words come up on the telly) to bring you this week’s showbiz news!

Apparently Madonna used to be an actress. I didn't know that. I mean, me and me mum love watching Evita and havin' a good cry and that, but I thought it was the actual Evita, and she just tried to be like Madonna. Y'know, like Kylie Minogue does. Anyways, Madonna's all saying she ain't gonna be doing no more acting! What a shame. I was hopin' me and her could do a chameleo in Footballers Wives together.

I hear Michelle out of Destiny's Child has bought herself a basketball team. Maybe she could get Dennis Rodman on her team? He wanted it, but I was all "no fanks"! HAHAHA! Oh my God! Poor Michelle, she knows she ain't never gonna be like Bernice, so she's going to be the Gordon Svenksson (him wot looks after Engerland) of basketball. She shouldn’t sleep with Faria though. Faria smells.

Finally, Robbie Williams (he SO wants to be Preston) has gotten his mate Jonathan Wilkes to go on tour with him. It's nice that he wants to help disableds, but I can't stand people that are famous for nuffink.

Oh my God, doing writing and stuff is HARD! I better run, I'm signin' a contract to be the face of Party Rings! I love the pink 'n' yellah ones. Laterz!

Chantelle xxx

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