Single Reviews 29/09/08

Oh look, it’s the Single Reviews. This time, we’re going to blame the ongoing lack of updates on the fact we’ve been busy smashing open our piggy bank to help out our friends in the US government. Fear not, we’ll have a Honking Box post at some point within the next week, subject to us getting off our battycreases and actually writing it. But the intention is there, and isn’t that all that matters? No? Oh.

This week heralds the return of talentless oxygen thieves and general peddlers of malevolence, Boyzone. Providing a strong contender for worst single of their career (no, really), Love You Anyway is a forlorn attempt at the knowingly-camp gladness of Take That’s Shine, yet just falls short of Vanilla’s True To Us. Quite who invited these imbeciles back is an enigma, but they’re doing so with some abominably catchy witchcraft that ensures it won’t be a flying visit. Damn them. Damn them!

Another 90s institution - albeit one that doesn’t make you want to plug your ears with sticks of lit dynamite - also makes a return this week with the meaty, impressive anthem The Shock of the Lightning. Yes, in spite of many a missed boat, Oasis add a chapter to their heritage where the likes of Lyla diluted it. An easy Single of the Week, and a tremendous advertisement for Dig Out Your Soul.

It’s also a welcome return to the truly stupendous Pink, who’s using So What not so much to exorcise her demons as draw comedy moustaches on them and run away cackling. Much like Stupid Girls, it’s hugely tongue-in-cheek with an aim to grab attention, and while the subject matter and toddler chant may not float everyone’s boat, the sheer attitude displayed in So What firmly underlines Pink as one of today’s greatest pop stars.

Finally, The Streets manage to quell the third-album tales of celeb-humping debauchery had a childish “I know something you don’t know” quality, thus heavily alienating the Kudos-frequenting throngs that came to be Mike Skinner’s bread and butter - the comparatively modest Everything Is Borrowed redresses the balance nicely and presumably begins the long process of winning people back. We couldn’t give a rat’s ass over thisaway, mind. When’s Heroes on?

Single Reviews 22/09/08

Hmmmmm. Is it just us, or is there very little music to be getting excited about at the moment? Seriously, something needs to come along soon before the Sloppy Dog MP3 player falls victim to Little Jackie album overkill. As if to prove the point, here’s this week’s Single Reviews. Which does feature Will Young, so at least we get to release some bile…

Opening proceedings are one-time X Factor charlatans Avenue, who, in spite of what we imagine to be severely underwhelming demand, unveil themselves via the Dr-Luke-a-like ohrwurm Last Goodbye. Amidst all the hoo-ha about whether the industry is ready for another boyband, fundamentally, it’s actually a decent enough pop song. And bear in mind, people are buying into the fucking Jonas Brothers, so anything’s possible.

If the global economy is in that much trouble, folks would be wise to place all their stock in earplug production - Will Young is back. Yes, the in-bred, monkey-mugged, McJazz-peddling spunkbubble continues his quest to become the UK’s most irksome, unsightly and hateful singer, as proven in the vile Changes - a song that miraculously manages to be both excruciating and beige simultaneously.

Stuttering electro-beats and dark cavernous chords all point towards another masterpiece courtesy of Ladytron. It’s no Destroy Everything You Touch (yes, we’re still hung up on that), but nonetheless, the stirring Runaway scoops our Single of the Week honour. A keyboard-battering anthem which revisits the Eighties in their entirety, as opposed to just a polite acknowledgement (in a good way, mind, not in a Calvin Harris way).

Finally, as we return from the 1984 jaunt with Ladytron, we make a stop in the mid-Nineties with a re-release trumpeting a Best Of compilation from Saint Etienne. The opening synthage of Burnt Out Car 2008 implies a great big homosexual disco anthem is imminent, yet thankfully it just stops short of reaching such lows heights. Xenomania hint towards the long-forgotten golden millisecond they provided for Dannii Minogue’s career, but all in all, add sweet FA to the first edition.

Single Reviews 15/09/08

Hey you! Stuck in a foreign airport after your airline and/or holiday provider went tits-up? Sat in a car outside Dover amidst a static convoy of backed-up lorries? Pacing the platforms at St Pancras wondering how to get to Paris, or vice versa? Well, we can’t help. But we can provide you with a few minutes entertainment in the form of our Single Reviews…

The increasingly desperate McFly unveil the second single from their giveaway stunt, presumably in the hope it’ll claw onto the Top 40 for more than a lone week this time. However, Lies may actually go some way to turning a head outside of their squeeing fanbase. A grand, pop-heavy nod to the 80s, it’s by no means bad, but it’ll take another All About You to induce anything greater than a ‘meh’ from Joe Public.

After a handful of (somewhat unfair) non-starter singles, The Feeling finally come good with the titular gem from their second album. While it may conjure up an initial desire to visit a Toyota dealership, Join With Us is a particularly satisfying reminder of just why the band grabbed our attention in the first place. And while the “ring ring, beep beep” hook is a definite divider, the fact Join With Us is our Single of the Week should clear up which camp we fall into.

We Are Scientists narrowly miss out on the aforementioned accolade with the excellent Impatience, a pleasantly pulsating anthem that shows off all Keith Murray’s bestest bits to great effect. And frankly, if anyone can find a greater example of uproariously indulgent lycanthropy anywhere in contemporary popular culture than in this video, we shall happily munch on the hat of your choice.

And finally, a song which is apparently poised to claim the Number One spot this Sunday. While we’re all for the end of Katy Perry’s repugnant reign, why have there been such a worryingly high number of chart-toppers this year that we just don’t ‘get’…? Sex On Fire by the terminally overrated Kings of Leon is no exception - though highly alluring, you simultaneously expect a teenage Courteney Cox to emerge from the crowd and start uncle-dancing halfway through.

Single Reviews 08/09/08

Woo-hoo! We’re happy chaps here at Sloppy Dog Towers this week, mainly because the vile Mikey didn’t win Big Brother. We’re actually more happy that the bloody thing is over and done with, but huge congratulations to Rachel all the same, proving that nice guys don’t always finish last. Well, in this case, she did… but finishing last was a good thing. Oh, you know what we mean. Right then, Single Reviews…

Gym Class Heroes kick us off this week with the rather disappointing Cookie Jar. The college rock sensibilities on display throughout As Cruel As School Children have been dropped in favour of smooth ‘n’ synthy chestnuttage courtesy of The-Dream. It was always going to take a magnificent song to paper over the fact Travis McCoy willingly puts it in Katy bastard Perry - and Cookie Jar sure ain’t it.

Next comes the distinguishable parp of a sax that can only be the work of The Zutons (or, on occasion, further desperate attempts from Mark Ronson to shoehorn an entire brass band where there’s clearly no need for them). What’s Your Problem is a memorable, affable stand-out gem amongst the largely disappointing You Can Do Anything, and makes for a more-than-decent Single of the Week.

Speaking of our Single of the Week honour, this year’s two least likely recipients team up for a track which is sorely nowhere close to the mark of distinction each achieved on their own. Flo Rida and Will.I.Am stutter the clichéd ramblings of In The Ayer atop a beat used by Fergie a thousand times over. Also, ‘air’ spelt as ‘ayer’…? Do. Not. Want.

And finally, we welcome back perennial Sloppy Dog adversaries, the fucking Pussycat Dolls, who return from their syphilis treatment hiatus with the frankly ridiculous When I Grow Up - a song that documents their childhood aspirations of stardom. Realistically though, does ANYONE dream of thrusting their anonymous gash behind a woman significantly more talented than them? With any luck, this sewage will go the same way as Scherzinger’s wretched solo idiocy (which, by the way, HA).

Little Jackie - The Stoop (Parlophone)

Every now and then, an album comes along that commands your attention from the first bar. One such album was Chupacabra, the 1998 introduction to New York newcomer Imani Coppola – sadly, too few people heard that first bar to reel them in, thus creating a lost masterpiece.

A decade on, and Imani Coppola has teamed up with DJ/producer Adam Pallin to form Little Jackie, a collective that have already bestowed us with the greatest song of the year in the shape of The World Should Revolve Around Me. Setting the standard so astronomically high with the first single means semi-debut album The Stoop has quite a challenge on its hands…

Rather than acting as some sort of Chupacabra Redux, it seems Pallin has Coppola firmly tethered to 2008, and more importantly, reality. Where Coppola’s debut was a fantastical mash-up of John Lennon meets Phoebe Buffay, The Stoop is a much more pragmatic affair, grounded in the hardships and simple pleasures of everyday life. And yet, when such potentially muted subject matter is swathed in the inventive, refined, zesty magic of Little Jackie, it takes on a whole new outlook.

Guys Like When Girls Kiss manages with class, humour and relevance what the grotesque Katy Perry tried to convey with trashiness and failed titillation. Elsewhere, the stupendous Crying For The Queen calls out the terminal joke that is Amy Winehouse for her unprofessionalism and general idiocy. Well, it was about time someone did it – Little Jackie just happen to do it using killer hooks and scathing (yet entirely justified) lyrics.

The brand of quirky, fresh indie-soul on display throughout The Stoop is literally impossible to pigeonhole. Much like Gnarls Barkley, the Little Jackie sound hits you without warning, yet simultaneously from a hundred directions at once. That’s not to say there’s any parallels with Gnarls Barkley sonically – it’s hard to imagine anyone outside of this collective creating music quite so unique.

In fact, the lone gripe that can be nit-picked from The Stoop is that it’s over way too early – however, whether this is an actual duration issue or merely a ‘time-flies-when…’ cliché remains to be seen. The Stoop proves that Imani Coppola is as capable of astute social commentary with a sly wink as she is of hip-hop lunar lullabies, and that Adam Pallin has the tools to make that talent operate tremendously. Together, they’ve produced an album which, if there’s any justice, will reach a significantly higher number of ears than Chupacabra - and however many ears it does reach, you can guarantee will be entirely captivated.

Single Reviews 25/08/08

Welcome, one and all, to this week’s Single Reviews, where we’d like to take a moment to reflect on the news that Reverend & The Makers are to split, and Jon McClure is stepping back from the music industry. WOO-HOO!!! Pop open the champagne Lambrini, the charts have just gotten marginally less shit! Now we just need Fightstar, Mika, Katy Perry, the Kaiser Chiefs, Cascada and the Overrated Apes to follow suit…

On the subject of pure shite, the happy-clappy and all-round crappy Alphabeat return with a third explosion of glitter, helium, blood and guts via the truly pathetic Boyfriend. Dated, clichéd, grating and dull, it’s the kind of septic musical faeces you’d expect to find from Scooch, as opposed to an uppity, self-important REAL!! BAND!! who totally WRITE THEIR OWN STUFF!!! We hereby officially add Alphabeat to the above list.

And from that, we go to what could potentially be the greatest song of 2008 so far. Hey, we’re nothing if not diverse. The unspeakably awesome Little Jackie unveil the first gem of what we hope will be a sizeable treasure trove, in the form of the truly outstanding The World Should Revolve Around Me. We did consider whether Imani Coppola bias pushed the song up in our opinion a tad, but a track this original, catchy, fun, attitude-crammed needs no help. Single of the Week, fo’ sho’.

Way back in January, our support of Low by Flo Rida prompted a few head-scratches amongst our loyal readership – a move that we excused by reason of holiday anthem syndrome. That same voyage also gave us See You Again by the All-American tweenage sovereignty that is Miley Cyrus, a song significantly better than literally anyone could’ve anticipated. Whether it’s a true representation of the talent of Miley Cyrus herself is unlikely, but… CHOOOOON! (We’re very, very sorry.)

And sticking roughly with the theme of television darlings assaulting the charts, we come to Hamfatter, a band no-one apart from their mothers would ever care about had they not whored themselves on Dragons’ Den. Fair play to them, mind – they’ve guaranteed themselves financial backing, extensive coverage, and at the root of it, The Girl I Love is actually more than half-decent. And hey, if Peter Jones wants to pump some money into The Sloppy Dog, we wouldn’t say no…

Solange - Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams (Polydor)

Pop siblings haven’t had the greatest track record. The Osmonds, Hanson, Cleopatra, the Bedingfields, now the fucking Jonas Brothers. Thankfully, ready to buck the trend is Solange Knowles, kid sister of Beyonce and thus part of the dollar-printing mogulfest that is Knowles Inc. And yet, the most admirable thing about Solange – aside from her talent – is her open reluctance to carry any form of attachment to her incidental brand. Perhaps not the best opening paragraph on our part, then.

However, the music does the talking far greater than any press embargo on mentioning her family ties could. Her second solo album (first in the UK), the curiously-titled Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams, immediately proves Solange is the black sheep of the Knowles clan, albeit one with day-glo multicoloured highlights through its fleece and glittery fake eyelashes.

Mere seconds into the soapbox opener of God Given Name, it’s abundantly clear that Solange has more in common with Eminem or Ani DiFranco than she does with her sister. Okay, perhaps not quite, but there’s a display of cheek and social commentary that is virtually invisible within the R&B sphere, quickly cementing Solange as an artist with a brain between her ears.

On paper, the bright Sixties shuffle of Sandcastle Disco or the digi-Ronettes mantra Would’ve Been The One would suggest an album of entirely retro concepts, Solange herself injects enough quirk to underline Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams as a truly 21st Century entity, with just the right level of nods to legends past.

Unfortunately, the quirky Motown sensibilities don’t permeate every track. A handful – This Bird or Valentine’s Day, for example – clearly take their lead from watery 70s/80s soul, and while Solange’s bewitchery makes them a more appealing prospect than their description alone might imply, they fail to stand up next to the selection of tracks that boast originality and personality.

Even a straight comparison of the two takes on I Decided – both of which appear – is interesting. While the Freemasons’ mix has the verve and bounce to carry it on UK radio, it actually sounds somewhat empty and naff next to the classy subtleties of the Neptunes’ original.

Yet, on the whole, Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams is the benchmark of a formidable artist, very much worthy of her own pedestal. Solange proves her musicianship, inventiveness and all-round worth, and while the material may not tick every box, the abundance of integrity and chutzpah should ensure you’ll hear plenty more from her, whether you like it or not.

Single Reviews 18/08/08

Before we embark on this week’s Single Reviews, we need to make a slight amendment to a previous week’s reviews. Having been exposed to The Verve’s Love Is Here a tad more than is necessary, we’ve come to develop a near-dislike of it. Seriously, who thought getting Pingu in to do backing vocals was a good idea? We hereby strip them of their Single of the Week title, and hope that the album doesn’t utilise an entire array of Cbeebies stars.

Leading the pack are The Automatic, who claim an easy Single of the Week with the harbinger of their second album. The absence of keyboard loon Penny is evident, as the maturity levels are increased ten fold on Steve McQueen. It certainly doesn’t suffer for it, mind - harder-edged in sound but boasting a taut, memorable tune, it’s hopefully a good indication of what This Is A Fix has to offer.

Gabriella Cilmi is up next, and, in spite of her obvious talent, is doing very little to win us over. Having originally fashioned herself as a Petits Filous Amy Winehouse, it seems the disco soul nothingness of Save The Lies is an attempt to drag her in another direction altogether. Now she’s an anaemic Anastacia - try saying that five times quickly.

And finally, a docile slice of boozy Glaswegian majesty courtesy of The Fratellis - who else? - with the considerably marvellous Look Out Sunshine. A sleepy soft-rock jam in the vein of Whistle For The Choir, yet just diverse enough to underline that the band have progressed rather satisfactorily. Now, let’s have Lupe Brown as the third single, and we’ll say something REALLY nice…

Single Reviews 11/08/08

In light of the spectacular opening to the Olympics earlier this week, we had planned a similarly extravagant opening ceremony to mark this week’s Single Reviews. Sadly, the pyrotechnics got rained on and thus failed, the acrobats went on strike, all four Beatles were hungover, and the performing pterodactyls flew away. But it would’ve been ace, trust us.

We start things with a song that feels as though it’s been out as long as Bloc Party themselves have been around. That said, Mercury is a balls-out dance thumper with overtones of grimy punk, a million miles from the melodic soundtrackery of Two More Years, or the tiresome clumsiness of The Prayer. In fact, sounding more like a remix than a flat-out Bloc Party track, it’s a good indication of a band refusing to rest on their laurels.

Santogold is next up, with the meh-inducing Lights Out. Constant guitar mutterings lifted from a Max Martin standard provide an incompatible foundation for shrill, tedious vocals which would sound contentedly at home in a Kate Bush tribute dinner-and-concert jobby. Mildly amusing Santogold fact: the spellchecker on Microsoft Word automatically changes her name to ‘Sainthood’. Hell, it’s more entertaining than the music itself…

Shaking off any trace of Knowles nepotism and commanding her own spotlight with ease is Solange, with the entrancing magic of I Decided. Ordinarily, anything touched by the Freemasons reads like a government health warning in our eyes. However, a blast of Neptunes-produced indifference has been transformed into a bouncy, summery, Motown magnum opus, cementing Solange as an artist to keep a keen eye on.

However, Solange is just barely pipped to Single of the Week by the truly awesome Meccano, the second single from Transatlantic radio-rock genii Red Light Company. Three seconds of twinkling make way for explosive riffs and towering voices, surpassed only by the huge choruses. The strength of Meccano alone is enough to induce a frantic itchiness for the album’s release - surely the mark of a band destined for magnitude?

Single Reviews 04/08/08

Welcome, one and all, to another selection of songs being torn to shreds, more commonly knows as the Single Reviews. Things seem to be rather scarce on the new releases front these days, so you’ll have to pardon the somewhat skimpy length of the article. Mind you, the way we’ve been going lately, we’re lucky to have been able to chuck anything together…

Easing us into the reviews this week are The Music, a band who once threatened us with inescapable Kasabian-style triumph, yet have just about achieved success on a par with Sirens. Oh well. Their brand of intense, pelvic rock clout is very much present in The Spike, yet is simultaneously a step on from the haughtiness of previous material. A vast improvement, all in all.

Second only to the Spice Girls as the most exciting return amidst the recent spate of comebacks, The Verve signal their chart homecoming with Love Is Noise. Whilst the truly grating Laa-Laa style backing vocals detract from the song significantly, there remains enough potent Verve ingenuity to ensure a thumping, bright anthem worthy of the band’s legacy. And, in spite of its Cbeebies associations, we can just about push it to Single of the Week status.

And finally, we’re sad to report that yet another song has been tortured, gutted and worn as a vulgar, gory skin-suit by dancefloor-diluting musical assassins Cascada. Admittedly, we never cared one way or the other about the original version of Because The Night, but such vile, tasteless cover versions one after the other make for some seriously unpleasant listening. Almost as unbearable as the curdling screams it’s likely to induce in anyone who hears it.