The Sloppy Dog 2008 Honours List

Finally, we close The Sloppy Dog's End Of Year round-up with our annual honours list, where we celebrate the pop culture heroes of 2008. Truth be told, it’s hard to avoid overlap from previous years’ lists (as a couple of entrants will illustrate), but we haven't had too much overall difficulty finding ten deserving recipients. Ladies and gentlemen, in no particular order, the pwners of 2008...

Chris Lilley
A man whose talents as a comedy actor reach frighteningly realistic proportions; a man whose writing skills are matched only by his microscopically astute observational skills; a man who has made us laugh more than anyone else in 2008. Summer Heights High and We Can Be Heroes are genuine masterpieces – we’ve already got the plastic sheet down for the next project...

Alesha Dixon
Redefining the term ‘underdog’ upon entering Strictly last year, it’s been a pleasure to see Alesha Dixon go from strength to strength since her victory. We’d have never bothered with the show had she not been part of it, which is testament to her hugely lovable nature. Much like Richard Hammond and Will Smith in previous years’ lists, Alesha is, even before you consider any of her other plentiful good points, a jolly nice person.

David Cook
We’ve had the occasional favourite over the many series of American Idol, but never before has such a sizeable talent participated, let alone won. Proving that musicianship, integrity, creativity and personality have a place in the likes of Idol (Leona, take note), David Cook is by far the most deserving and exciting talent show triumph in the history of the genre.

Ben & Jerry
Of course, their presence here owes at least some thanks to the fact Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield produce the greatest ice cream on Earth, but the main reason comes as a result of Sundae On The Common, by far the summer’s best festival. Well, one-day jobby as opposed to out-and-out festival, but with Ash, Get Cape Wear Cape Fly, and all the ice cream you can eat, who’s complaining?

Sarah Silverman
Having made this very same list a year ago, Sarah Silverman does the double off the back of her riotously entertaining Hammersmith Apollo show. Although slapdash reviews recounted all manner of boos and heckles WHICH DIDN’T ACTUALLY HAPPEN, Silverman’s delightfully un-PC material and uniquely wry approach cement her as one of America’s greatest comic talents of today.

Russell T. Davies
RTD’s work in bringing Doctor Who back to our screens is impressive enough, and that’s even before you take into account the untouchable level of quality applied to it. This year’s outstanding series paid testament to his near-paranormal writing flair - as did both Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures - while his book The Writer’s Tale provided a rare and exceptional window into what’s evidently a spectacular mind.

Danny Wallace
Anyone who can think of a concept as simultaneously simple and bizarre as Yes Man is clearly unique. But to make it work to the extent that it gets its own silver screen interpretation must be the mark of a genius. Meanwhile, back in Blighty, by far and away the highlight of the hugely-impressive Shortlist remains Danny’s regular column, further underlining his inimitable wit and proving that he’s still one of us.

Ruth Lorenzo
It’ll come as no surprise to see the breathtakingly fantastic Ruth Lorenzo in our list. Although Alexandra was a more than worthy winner, we maintain Ruth is the greatest contestant in talent show history – a sort of female David Cook, if you will. Boasting originality, vision, warmth, and a killer voice, plus incredibly gracious in her unjust elimination unlike many of her X Factor contemporaries, if Ruth isn’t signed in the next few months we may have to cut a bitch.

Ash
Sure, things have been somewhat hushed on the Ash front over the past 12 months. Ok, so things have been practically mute. But our lone experience of one of our favourite bands throughout 2008 was certainly an impressive one, providing us with the live performance of the year at the aforementioned Sundae On The Common. Now let’s get thee to a studio and get some new material a-cooking...

Charlie Brooker
And finally, another entrant in our list for the second year running. While King Charlie’s hysterical rants about the state of telly remain (a) something we aspire to pull off with such articulacy, and (b) something that has us in regular fits, his work on the truly remarkable Dead Set further validates his placing – such an uncanny juxtaposition of macabre and hilarious could only ever come from one man.

David Cook - David Cook (Sony BMG)

We have to applaud anyone who shuns the supposedly golden touch of Simon Cowell. Whether it works (Will Young, Carrie Underwood) or results in all kinds of epic fail (Kelly Clarkson’s disastrous My December), the basic practice of rejecting the input of a man who cites If You’re Not The One as the decade’s greatest song is a positive thing.

So with the long-awaited launch of the self-titled debut from David Cook – arguably one of the most interesting and pertinent talent show winners we’ve ever seen – we can breathe another sigh of relief, in that there’s little compromise. It’s safe to say this compromise would’ve been a radio-ready homage to Maroon 5, all “sometimes it's like” this and “baby girl” that. What we actually get, however, is an adept, intelligent classic rock album fully equipped to showcase a rather sizeable talent.

A voice that effortlessly marries moody, atmospheric gravel with tingle-inducing beltage is only part of the package, with adroit guitar sorcery and an overall ambience of straight-down-the-line musicianship proving his worth even further. Melodies are immediate yet intricate, as displayed on the raw majesty of Bar-ba-sol, while the themes are refreshingly earnest, as the pragmatism of Heroes verifies.

Darker moments showcased in many of Cook’s captivating and inventive cover versions throughout the live stages of Idol are, significantly, also present. It’s evident that Cook is keen to showcase the many other shades to his voice and his style, as such moments certainly don’t overwhelm the album, but the alluring melancholy of Permanent certainly proves when he’s at his best.

Not that you could begrudge Cook for steering more towards a largely more optimistic substance – after all, he’s a symbol that, on occasion, America CAN make the right choice and use their vote wisely. Granted, a certain President Elect may be a better advertisement for such a claim, but there’s stark evidence of a proud victory on David Cook.

Declaration and Time Of My Life play host to big, uplifting, inspirational truism that you could only ever expect from an American Idol winner. Perhaps us little people, who’ve never known the feeling of having Ryan Seacrest utter our names at the final moment (oo-er), are always going to be divorced from such a feeling. Mercifully, such all-American gushing is few and far between here, though frankly, Cook could sing a Chinese takeaway menu and still guarantee disarmingly brilliant results.

In summary, we’re left with an album that’s timeless, sturdy and multifaceted, yet still fundamentally David Cook. It’s always a relief to see an artist escape the grubby clutches of Simon Cowell and his trite, tired ideas – but when it’s someone as gifted as Cook, that relief becomes full-on celebration.

Honking Box Preview: American Idol

It feels like all of two minutes ago that we were tearing strips off the final twelve of American Idol, and yet, somehow, here we are at the finale. To be honest, we didn’t think we’d even stick with it (see also: Big Brother 8, Castaway, any news programme lasting more than one minute), but it’s actually thrown up a veritable mezze of entertainment gold.

We’ve seen Ryan Seacrest defending Paula’s garbled gin-psychosis; Danny Noriega pwning Cowell with the single snap of a neck; Ramiele Malubay’s snot-waterfall; Teri Hatcher singing country and western, and let’s not forget the classic torrent of atrocious over-patriotic group performances. And quite how we’ve made it this far without putting a fist through the TV at the Chicago Town sponsorship bumpers is a mystery.

Much as we’d have loved a Brooke/Carly final, we certainly can’t complain about the presence of the awesome David Cook, who could well be the most deserving winner since Carrie Underwood. Not that we have anything against Jordin Sparks, but at the end of the day, she’s effectively just Leona Lewis with a bit more meat and a LOT more personality.

Of course, this is assuming he can fight off the intense competition from tweenage robo-throb David Archuleta, who in spite of an impressive voice, looks like he should be gracing the front of a Play Doh Fun Factory box. Yes, we’ve got an All-David final, as was predicted by many early on in the contest (just to clarify, this does not include he-lap-dancer and severe victim of gayface, David Hernandez). So we’ve picked each finalist apart for you to make an informed decision. It’s completely impartial, as you’ll see…

Looking at each finalist’s credentials, it’s hard not to think of the first ever Pop Idol final, and the showdown between Will Young and Gareth Gates. Sure, David Cook isn’t a snotty, middle-class, fudge-packing, arrogant Marxist spunkbubble with a voice that could sink a cargo ship, but in terms of it being Musician vs Pop Puppet, there are certainly parallels.

So, in short, we’re Team Cook all the way. The results will be aired on ITV2 this Friday, but you’ll have to avoid the ENTIRE internet from Wednesday if you don’t want to find out before then. Ever the pessimists though, we’re sure Archuleta will walk it, so be sure to check back later this week for a bile-heavy ‘Ump column. Grrr, snarl, etc.