Friday, June 03, 2011

Single Reviews 05/04/11

This week, we’re going to use the Single Reviews to help out a young Geordie lady in need of a job. Skills on her CV include crying on cue, a mediocre singing voice, the ability to suck up to her superiors with panache, and the highly transferrable skill of filling a tabloid merely by batting her eyelids. Anyone able to help this poor lamb before she goes on Jobseekers Allowance? (We’ll try and find out whether she knows shorthand, if that helps find her something.)

For a change, we open on a positive note, with Single of the Week being awarded to The Vaccines. Currently looking as though they don’t have much competition for 2011’s Best New Band, the coolly emotive licks of All In White only cement their brilliance. It’s no Post Break-Up Sex, but the less direct, softer yearnings work marvellously, and demonstrate a band who can do multi-faceted whilst maintaining a sound that’s uniquely theirs.

A band who could learn a thing or two in that respect are The Wombats, who are almost on a par with Scouting For Girls at reusing the same hook, albeit without sounding like the audio equivalent of spinal surgery without anaesthetic. Techno Fan is a pop-saturated stompalong with an immediate appeal, but a sorry lack of originality, and thus, a shelf life of about half an hour. Think outside the box, people, think outside the box.

Katy B’s rising star continues its ascent via the unflappable girl power of Easy Please Me. A far more effective direction than the try-hard dubstep that broke her, the icy vocals and a subtle pulsing beat make for a distinctive, accomplished track. And above all else, it’ll go down as misheard lyrics sovereignty via the accidental “one thing I can’t stand is Africans” line. If Easy Please Me isn’t an advert that enunciation is everything, then what is?

And we finish up with old favourite (by which we mean ‘mortal enemy’) Nicole Scherzinger, who drifts even further from the punchy finery of Poison with the slippery, malodorous puddle of R&B anonymity that is Right There. It sounds every inch a vomited-out single from The Rihannabot, right down to the watery Patois leanings, and even a 50 Cent contribution can’t add identity to such an awful, overslick mess. Back to the go-go bar, slagflaps.

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