Friday, November 14, 2008

Single Reviews 17/11/08

We’d like to take the opportunity prior to this week’s Single Reviews to gladly reveal we didn’t vote for Laura White in last week’s X Factor. In fact, we didn’t vote for anyone (although we did send good thoughts out, Ruth-wards). Laura, ladies and gents, has been voted off. She was clearly sucky enough that YOU didn’t vote for her. Get over it. Kthnxbai.

First up, the vacuous, bloodsucking scumwhore that defiled the charts with I Kissed A Girl returns with a track mercifully better than its predecessor. While we’d still rather ride a cactus than voluntarily listen to Hot ‘n’ Cold, the sub-Pink stylings make the vile Katy Perry a whole lot more bearable than she deserves to be. Thankfully, it’s still shit enough to ensure she’s as loathsome as ever in the bigger picture.

And speaking of classless, talent-free, legs-akimbo trailer trash, the Pussycat Dolls are back to spread itchiness and a peculiar discharge with the vortex of relevance that is I Hate This Part. As if previous releases weren’t Nicole-heavy enough, this tepid, lifeless demi-ballad features precisely no vocals from the backing strumpets, thus acting as a further consolation for her own doomed solo career. FYI, the part we hate? The bit between 0:01 and 3:38...

We have a somewhat tempestuous relationship with The Killers, it must be said. A winning debut chased with a piss-poor sophomore, never mind the B-sides album we reviewed for another website that prompted a horde of Killers trolls to hilariously squee a slurry of txtspeak fury at us. However, on the strength of Human, all is forgiven. Tuneful, upbeat and inventive; we fully ‘get’ the controversial human/dancer grammarfest; and even the moustache is gone! That’s just about every box in our Single of the Week criteria ticked.

Finally, the threat of John Barrowman unleashing a contemporary pop album was something we’d been long fearful of – we were probably hoping a stint on Comic Relief Does Fame Academy might come along and pacify him, but alas, we’ve instead got What About Us, a Gary Barlow-penned beltalong perfect for JB’s overpronounced chops (i.e. too rubbish for Take That). However, it’s impossible to hate on someone so unashamedly fun, so we’ll happily let this one slide. Now go do some more Torchwood.

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