Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Eoghan Quigg - Eoghan Quigg (RCA)

While Eoghan Quigg may have been an easy target for ridicule on the last series of The X Factor, it wasn’t without reason. A blatant attempt to attract a certain demographic of viewer as opposed to seeking out new talent, Eoghan’s place on the show was, in itself, laughable.

At the start of the live shows, Rachel, Alexandra, Ruth, JLS, Laura, Bad Lashes and Diana all had the potential to win the contest – so to think Eoghan Quigg took the bronze medal is actually pretty shameful. Therefore, as he launches his debut – and one would imagine, his final – album, we’re reminded why some aspects of The X Factor should be kept firmly within the show itself.

One of the two original offerings – yes, that’s TWO brand new songs on an album of eleven tracks – is the awkward, bandwagon-situated shitefest 28,000 Friends, a Happy Meal rock ditty clumsily namechecking MySpace, YouTube and Facebook. Penned by the hapless hand of ever-desperate Busted spunkbubble James Bourne, a man responsible for some of the worst pop music this century, it’s obviously not going to be laying claim to an Ivor Novello, but you’d think they’d at least try to disguise such cheap, hackneyed efforts.

The genuine musicianship of McFly’s All About You is replaced with tacky synth strings, while the Fisher Price keyboard witchcraft on the sexless take of Does Your Mother Know makes it wholly unlistenable. And every track sees the backing vocals cranked up way above Eoghan’s scrawny cough, further underlining just how underdeveloped he is as a singer.

How much of this is the fault of Quigg himself? Precisely none of it, we’d guess. Let’s not forget, this is a 16-year-old boy who was thrown into the spotlight because Simon Cowell knew he could make a quick buck off him, and in spite of being the weakest vocalist throughout the series, made it to the final off the back of kindly grandmas and obsessive, fanatical trolls.

And just as Leon Jackson (who, in fairness, was actually a unique singer, and certainly had potential) and Same Difference (a marketable, likeable pop group who never gave a bad vocal performance) are dropped for their supposedly poor sales, Eoghan Quigg merely proves that short-term dollar signs are far more important than development or artistry.

Anaemic vocals, appalling song selections and a shameless cash-in on X Factor ‘glories’ make this a strong contender for the worst thing ever to come out of the show. And bearing in mind this includes Chico, that’s pretty dire stuff indeed.

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