Friday, November 02, 2007

Single Reviews 05/11/07

Prior to this week’s Single Reviews, an open letter to Amy Winehouse: Dear Amy, when MTV ask you to be the star attraction of their ropey little show, it’s not because they like you. It’s because they want headlines, viewers and revenue. That sniggering sound they’re making is not a good thing. If you insist on drinking yourself stupid, please endeavour to have a shot of integrity with it. Love from The Sloppy Dog. P.S. You’ve still got a bit of vom on your neck.

Cementing the fact that she really is little more than a US version of Kym Marsh, lead Pussycat scutter Nicole Scherzinger expunges a beige, mid-tempo non-entity of a track, supposedly to put her dancing hooker schtick behind her. Meanwhile, the ubiquitous and highly-questionable talents of Will.I.Am obviously add nothing to Baby Love’s pungency, suggesting the pair of them cordially bog off back to their respective groups.

Having already knocked the nation sideways with the mighty Civil Sin, Boy Kill Boy somehow manage to surpass it with the thundering No Conversation. Heavy on melody, big on clout, and constantly on repeat as far as the Sloppy Dog stereo is concerned, the only downside is that it raises questions as to why the hell we haven’t gotten more excited about Boy Kill Boy before now.

Kylie Minogue - who apparently has dropped the Minogue, but for the sake of showering abuse upon her, we’re keeping it - does nothing to build upon the braveness brand she’s inexplicably garnered, with the piss-weak non-music of 2 Hearts. Camp for camp’s sake, this squelchy McVaudeville tune-dodging wankage firmly puts Dannii back on top of the sibling league.

Finally, scooping our Single of the Week are the Kanye-jousting, Gallic house bastions Justice with the whimsical D.A.N.C.E., a sort of lunar playground chant meets dancefloor-beckoning anthem. Though it feels like it’s been out for the best part of a year, there’s no detracting from the effortless aceness contained within.

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