Saturday, July 11, 2009

Single Reviews 13/07/09

Ladies and gents, we regret to inform you this is our last ever Single Reviews, as we’ve been fired and replaced by Alesha Dixon. Of course, she’s skilled in all areas, so she’ll simultaneously be filling the roles of Sky News anchor, Shadow Health Secretary, midfield for the England squad, and both ends of Snuffleupagus in Sesame Street. In short: bad move, love.

Green Day begin our inspection process with a track lifted from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – thankfully, the song’s quality has no correlation to that of the fucking atrocious film. While its similarity to Boulevard of Broken Dreams is hard to ignore, the inimitable melding of melodic verses giving way for hard, forceful choruses makes 21 Guns a classic example of Green Day greatness.

X Factor silver medallists JLS make their debut this week, equipped with a tune significantly better than probably even the band themselves expected. Beat Again is far from the average boyband fare, instead a lively, slick, American sound that actually complements the band rather well. Now, when can we expect a release from Ruth Lorenzo?

Something called Alina is up next, with a cover of O-Zone’s inexplicable 2004 hit Dragostea Din Tei, classily renamed When You Leave (Numa Numa). T.I. and Rihanna sampling it was bizarre enough, but just about pulled it off on grounds of intense irony. However, a faceless Euroslag taking it on whilst openly defecating on the invention of the vocoder is a whole other matter. Turns out Basshunter is involved though, which sort of explains things.

And finally, Single of the Week is awarded to Square1 featuring Siobhan Donaghy, who unveil the deliciously dark Styfling to, one must presume, an audience of approximately three. The underperformance of Donaghy is consistently frustrating, but the trippy, atmospheric beats do her talents justice, and hopefully serve as a taster for her next inevitably-genius album.

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