Friday, February 15, 2008

Single Reviews 18/02/08

Welcome, all, to this week’s Single Reviews, but a quick word before we begin. Just to save us writing a particularly biley entry in our ‘Ump column later this week, let’s just assume the Brits are reliably shambolic, and that we strongly disagree with at least 80% of the winners. Fuck, grrrr, hate, rant rant rant, etc etc. Now, shall we begin?

It’s a shame more people can’t be objective about Kylie Minogue. If she were actually informed when her shit singles are shit, she might focus a wee bit more on the decent stuff, which lately has become few and far between. Sounding every inch the soundtrack to a nominal-budget Arm & Hammer advert, Wow is the mark of one too many sycophantic yes men, resulting in one of 2008’s worst tracks thus far.

Hey, when did it become 2000 again? Last time we checked, the horror story that was UK garage had long been buried, together with any chance of Craig David ever bothering silver status again. However, the dated and dismal What’s It Gonna Be, by something called H “Two” O (their inverted commas, not ours) relives the tacky, ham-fisted genre, last exhumed by that fucking Babycakes monstrosity.

The amount of obsequious cooing over pasty whingebag Adele feels even more irrelevant when you consider the vast superiority and overall potential magnitude of Duffy. Coming across not unlike a considerably acidic Dusty Springfield, yet with a significant measure of originality, Mercy is the perfect vehicle for what promises to be an enormous talent. Single of the Week, by a long margin.

Lastly, Mark Ronson flogs us yet another quirky reworking – or demonstration of amateurish butchery, depending on your perspective – from his Version album, this time a take on Radiohead’s Just. It’s all good fun, but it’s Ronson-by-numbers, leading us to think it’s time he put the album to bed. And no matter how much this may seem like an insult, it genuinely isn’t intended – but it’s not a patch on the Liberty X rendition of High & Dry. No, really.

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