Sunday, September 24, 2006

Single Reviews 25/09/06

It’s been a tough old week, hasn’t it? Embrace announcing their split, Richard Hammond’s wee mishap, Corinne Bailey-Rae’s inexplicable barnet at the MOBOs. But fear not! Embrace are not splitting, Hammond is recovering well, and hats are available now in all good stores. So let’s celebrate the joys of life with this week’s Single Reviews...

Getting the worst of the week over with, we’ll begin proceedings with the Pussycat Dolls, who sadly still haven’t staged a green-eyed upheaval and pushed Nicole down a flight of stairs. The Syphilis Six hock up another auditory phlegmball in the form of I Don’t Need A Man, a polystyrene wasteland of 1994 dance throbbage and empty femme-clout. Arguably as bad as Stickwitu.

But suggesting that Melody Pussycat Doll may eventually rule the galaxy, two releases this week highlight a couple of background bitches rising above their spotlight-munching adversaries. Having shared a stage with the tabloids’ favourite hopeless, conceited, own-vomit-chugging prescription cunt-rag, Carl Barat can do nothing but shine as part of Dirty Pretty Things, whose champion Wondering we’re also attributing to the presence of ever-ace Cooper Temple Clause alumnus Didz. And proving that she wasn’t buried under the patio by Mathew and Tina Knowles, former Destiny’s Child shadow-dweller LeToya finally gets to showcase her talent. Torn may not herald the golden era of R & B, but certainly hints at considerable potential. Stick that in your gold lamé hotpants, Bernice.

Continuing to bore us further and further with each successive mention of her name, Lily Allen rehashes the once-purveyor-of-underdog-cool LDN into another advance forward in her dreary gallop towards the pinnacle of pretension. Meanwhile, it’s difficult for even the least clownly US college rock band to pull off a wistful, introspective semi-ballad, not that All American Rejects have managed it. It Ends Tonight is a seemingly-simulated angst number crying out for credibility, but get past that and you’re left with an appealing, melodic rock ditty.

Finally, we come to our Single of the Week and the welcome return of Evanescence. Admittedly, we’re slightly worried that there’s not a whole lot happening in the way of innovation round Evanescence Towers, but there’ll be a long way to go before we’re anything resembling bored. All things considered, Call Me When You’re Sober is a superb milk-metal anthem. And is it just us, or is Amy Lee morphing ever so slowly into Elvira, Mistress of the Dark? Tell us we’re not wrong...

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