Single Reviews 20/11/06

Ciao ragazzi! We write this week’s Single Reviews from the picturesque Italian town of Bracciano, just outside of Rome, where we’re attending the modest ceremony of our good friends Tom ‘n’ Katie. Truth be told, we’re not too keen on her – she looks like she’s about to burst into tears at the best of times, so God help her during the vows. Seriously, we wish them all the happiness in the world, or if they prefer, a lifetime of column inches. We really should have taken a glance at their wedding list.

Inaugurating this week’s assortment of bitchery are the Red Hot Chili Peppers, though it should be noted that we’re actually quite contented with the line-up of singles this week. In fact, the only pessimistic point to address for Snow (Hey Ho) would be the use of “ho” in its title when the lyric is quite clearly “oh”. Otherwise, we’re presented with a beguiling, affable tune and the biggest redeeming feature of Stadium Arcadium. Pedantic? Us?

Although we’re more likely to wave a banner for Pink’s more ballsy repertoire, it’s always nice to heed the musician behind the stern beats and corrosive I-am-woman hollers. Nobody Knows sees Pink playing the little girl lost in a unruffled, authentic ballad, adding a squillionth string to her musical bow.

The Feeling continue to dominate the Sloppy Dog MP3 player, having provided us with the definitive album of the year. And while Love It When You Call is our least favourite excerpt from the aforementioned masterpiece, it’s still head, shoulders, groin and mid-shin area above its nearest competitors. Need we even point out that it’s out Single of the Week?


While we’re big supporters of worthwhile charities (morally, not financially), this year’s Children In Need single warrants a gloves-off examination. Once again a rush-released cover of indefensibly unoriginal proportions, we see current Beeb darling Emma Bunton taking on Downtown. Luckily, we needn’t be too harsh, as The Bunto carries it with just enough Mary-Quant-in-a-can sass that only she can pull off. Satisfactory for now, but Must Try Harder.

Next up, the elite homecoming of Take That, a return so heavily hyped, it feels like they haven’t actually been away. The reception hasn’t been exactly toasty for Patience, having been described as somewhat Bluntesque by numerous outlets. However, it’s more that it sounds like four blokes in their thirties making capable pop, which quite frankly is preferable to four blokes in their thirties reliving the days of jelly, ice cream and stark bollock nudity.