Thursday, June 07, 2007

Single Reviews 11/06/07

Well, cock on a stick! Three lousy days in prison and fucking Hilton’s out! C’mon, give the vacuous bag of bones a proper chance to suffer. It’s probably wrong we took so much pleasure in her incarceration in the first place, but it’s ok - she’s not a real person or anything. Anyhoo, on with the Single Reviews

Launching this week’s proceedings are Take That, whose unfathomable success 10 years after their split is about to be tested pretty heavily. I’d Wait For Life, by far and away the most boring thing any of them have ever committed to record, will soon prove whether the screaming fans are going to buy up any old shit now they’ve got mouths to feed.

A local geography lesson next from Good Shoes, whose song Morden is a brisk and catchy tour of the town’s worst bits. Obviously, tales of how utterly shit the place is wouldn’t necessarily please a native South Londoner, but let’s call a spade a spade - Morden is an armpit. Single of the Week it is then, assuming they keep sweet about Streatham - we’d hate to get all SW16 on your asses.

Kelly Rowland has wisely chosen to step away from the All Woman compilation staples she previously peddled, but alas it’s in the direction of unremarkable R&B. Thankfully, Like This is thrown a lifeline courtesy of Eve’s golden touch, but it won’t turn many a head. Still, Kel’s always got the option of taking solace in the fact she’s not Michelle.

Jousting with Ice Box and Thnks Fr The Mmrs for the most daftly-named song of the year is Enrique Iglesias with comeback crack Do You Know (The Ping Pong Song). Aside from the goofy sub-title and the gimmicky sound effects from which it stemmed, it’s pretty much your regular, methodical Enrique effort. Will barely warrant a 6-point footnote in the history of music in 2007, but it’ll certainly dampen a few tabards (presumably the desired effect).

2 comments:

That One Guy From Up North said...

"...but it'll certainly dampen a few tabards."

You dirty bitch. I love it!!!

Lisa said...

I don't understand the ping pong bit. My friend tried to make me go with her to see Enrique once.. I refused. Apparently it was filled with middle aged women.

I guess it could be worse.

 
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