Thursday, June 28, 2007

The Sloppy Dog SpiceWatch

At the time of writing, it's just two hours until the fabled Spice Girls press conference takes place at the cunting upturned wok that the Government inexpicably spunked £769 million on O2 Arena, and truth be told, we're feeling all kinds of weird.

So, welcome to a new column, which may or may not last more than one post, entitled The Sloppy Dog SpiceWatch. Here you'll find ludicrous speculation surrounding announcements, releases and tour dates; gripes about not being able to get tickets; and absurd declarations that we'd have managed the whole thing better than Simon Fuller.

That said, we're still none the wiser as to what today's announcement has in store. Sure, a reunion is the most obvious answer, but we're sort of hoping the world's press will eagerly gather, dictaphones and flashbulbs poised, for the five girls to gather onstage and declare "Melanie C's new single Carolyna is out now through Red Girl Records. Thanks for coming."

We'd be lying if we said we weren't a wee bit skeptical about a possible reunion. While the Spice Girls effortlessly shat upon the hunched-over, po-faced aloof-fest that was All Saints, there's no escaping that their return was an absolute train wreck for the reason that people had moved on. And while Take That may well have nailed it, their comeback didn't muster a tenth of the publicity that the Spice Girls have, and that's before they've even confirmed anything - in short, placing the potential disappointment levels at an astronomically high setting.

But let's focus on the positives. A world tour! A chance to see Geri spluttering her way through Goodbye and Holler! A Greatest Hits album! Featuring brand new tracks! And possibly a studio version of W.O.M.A.N, effectively the Holy Grail to Spice fans! Not that we're excited or anything. No, we're going to remain completely professional throughout. *puts plastic sheet down for 12pm*

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

someones excited.

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