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Although this year's Official Bitch has yet to be identified (though let's face it, she'll be hard-pushed to match the part-human, part-lizard poisonfest that was Katie Hopkins), we've already filled Rory's naff Sloanite loafers with the impossibly even more smug Raif, a foppish fuckwit who seemingly believes it's charm that he's oozing from every pore, as opposed to putrid, smarmy ectoplasm.
Sadly, Raif survived to blow his own trumpet another week, as we bid adieu to Nicholas de Lacy Brown, owner of the ponciest name since Sir Marmaduke Hussey. Still, the firing of NDLB was no great loss – partially because he had a breakout of gayface so far advanced, he made American Idol’s David Hernandez look like Geoff Capes; and partially because he was a smug, annoying shite-hawk.
Rather disappointingly, Nick Hewer's immeasurable assortment of facial expressions all displaying befuddlement were not on show. However, this bunch appear to possess more than their fair share of all-out idiocy, so no doubt we'll see the full range before the third episode is done. Yes, we’re going to stick our necks out and predict that we’re going to enjoy this series of The Apprentice – in fact, we'll be watching this round Nice Old Black Lady From The Market's house, to enjoy a nice bowl of eel face broth. Mmmm...