The lines are now closed. The votes have been counted and verified. And we can now reveal that this week’s Single Reviews are...(Also, we can now reveal that the horrendous Big Brother references are going to be mercifully shelved. Until the Celebrity edition starts up again, at least. Sorry.)
Keane’s lukewarm homecoming heats up slightly with Crystal Ball – certainly no Somewhere Only We Know, but a whole lot more like Keane than Atlantic or Is It Any Wonder. Our current love affair with The Feeling means Keane have a long way to go to become the Sloppy Dog’s favourite warm ‘n’ fuzzies band again, but this is an agreeable start.It’s a two-horse race to be crowned this week’s premier pop product –
having already lavished one of the greatest songs of the year upon us, Boy Least Likely To return with the exquisitely cute Hugging My Grudge, a cheerful chugalong from Nashville via Never Never Land. But the jammy recipient of the hallowed Single of the Week title is Missy Elliott. While it’s fair to say We Run This is perhaps not her most inventive concept, it’s more infectious than Rebecca Loos, as fun as a bouncy castle full of puppies, and a clear reminder of why Missy continues to hold up the hip-hop brand amongst oceans of gold-drenched, idea-free, misogynistic trolls.
Speaking of which, Jay Z adds sweet FA to his biatch’s latest. Beyoncé should be tremendously grateful for her bloody awful video, as Déjà Vu would go entirely unnoticed were it not accompanied by $500,000 worth of oafish jiggling, not dissimilar to a toddler throwing a tantrum. Boring, boring, humdrum, beige music.
As a sort of Happy Meal version of Pete Doherty, Matt Willis has never been much to get excited about. In this vein, second single Hey Kid is the sort of forgettable Blobbie ladrock that Jonathan Wilkes would happily get on his knees for. The least offensive offshoot from the Busted bust-up, but when your competition is Fightstar and Son of Dork, that’s nothing to be proud of.
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