Friday, October 13, 2006

Single Reviews 16/10/06

Seeing as recent Honking Box columns more often than not morph into The 'Ump, it's nice to get back to the good ol' Single Reviews. Not that our rants weren't justified. Bloody Dionne over Jonathan?! Do you not have eyes and ears, Mrs O!?!? *kicks, screams, takes ritalin and puts a block on ITV1*

James Morrison begins proceedings this week, shrewdly squirming his way out from the Blunt-forged pigeonhole we imagine he’s justly sickened by. Wonderful World is a rough-around-the-edges quasi-ballad with a cheeky wink, though at the risk of sounding like his key demographic, we maintain a haircut wouldn’t go amiss.

Single of the Week goes to the Ordinary Boys, having rush-recorded a third album before rigor mortis finally sets in to Preston’s depleted eminence. Lonely At The Top tackles Mr Chantelle’s blatant awkwardness at being part of the OK! elite, but within the package of a catchy, assured anthem. Those laddish, ska-lite small-fries we came to love two years back are still there, beneath the gloss and Tigi gift bags.

Only two singles into their career, and we’re already a bit fed up with Rogue Traders. Voodoo Child got pretty stale pretty quick, and unfortunately Watching You closely follows the same formula. Were it not for Natalie Bassingthwaite having the greatest surname since we served a Mr Squelch in Sainsbury’s at the age of 17, we’d be wiping our proverbial battycrease with this right about now.

Finally, in what has to be one of the most hilarious cover set-ups in throughout the lifespan of recorded music, one-man sitcom Meatloaf awkwardly tackles It’s All Coming Back To Me Now, a number from the repertoire of Celine Dion – without a trace of sarcasm. Attempt to remove your mind from the mental image of Meatloaf doing Celine Dion, and you’re left with a big-budget rock-opera detonation of hamminess, which ticks all the relevant ‘Loaf boxes: faceless Latina supermodel providing backing vox; suitable for use with wind machine; boldly theatrical; bit crap. Check, check, check and CHECK.

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