Single Reviews 30/10/06

You’ll have to excuse the lateness of this week’s Single Reviews, but we wanted to hear Upper Street’s chart position before addressing anything else, Gawd bless ‘em. Much as we love Roseann, we can’t help but blame Concept Records for the diabolical No. 35 placing. With an artist roster reading like a line-up of standby Love Island contestants, everything Concept touch turns to runny shit. Let’s hope they snap up some of this week’s chart efforts…

Generally, we’re not fans of the drunken McHouse peddled by the erstwhile Jamiroquai, a rule which applies to new single Runaway, but comedy tosspot hats off to Jay Kay – forging an entire career from re-recording the same song under 30 different titles is certainly an accomplishment. That said, Tenacious D would have done well to stick to their tried-and-tested patented kookiness. Pick Of Destiny is indeed a box-ticking, amusing rock-titter but it suffers heavily for the simple fact it’s not Fuck Her Gently. Still, it’s Single of the Week here at Sloppy Dog Towers.

Picture the scene. It’s 8:30am. You’re stuck on a heaving [insert public transportation relevant to your locality here] with an outsized beast of a man severely infringing your personal space. Eight hours later, you can still smell him. His breath, his BO, his greasy hair. It will not leave your nostrils. Each time you think of it, you throw up in your mouth just a little. Now, imagine that feeling in song form, and you’re presented with I Write Sins Not Tragedies by obnoxious, sub-emo, juvenile bellyachers Panic At The Disco. An entire world of Fuck Off And Die.

Last up, further belly-laughing in the unsightly, careerless faces of Lee Ryan and Duncan James, Coming Around Again is likely to maintain the surprise success of Simon Webbe with yet another semi-memorable gospel-coloured number crafted specifically for the Magic market. A one-man Lighthouse Family for the digital age.

…but we’d still put a tenner on him being roped into Totally Boyband 2.