Sunday, January 21, 2007

Single Reviews: 22/01/07

In light of recent events in the media, we’ve decided to ban the screaming crowds, flashing lights, pyrotechnics, paparazzi, press conference and can-can dancers from this week’s Single Reviews. We felt it wouldn’t be appropriate in light of the comments made by ourselves relating to Davina McCall’s arse being ‘ample’. We totally take this back, it was said in anger, and we’re most certainly not arse-ist. Her arse is, in actual fact, fucking mahoosive. Wahey!

Princess Superstar, once brimming with vivacity, flair and the promise of world domination, makes a tail-between-legs comeback as part of a half-arsed house mash-up. Luckily, the anonymous lack of inspiration crafted by this so-called Mason character cannot smother her stardom entirely, and while Perfect far from lives up to its title, it’s actually rather tolerable. Like getting the giggles in a car accident.

Not only do the new chart rules make the Top 40 look like the Virgin Radio playlist, but they send our Single Reviews into complete disarray. Here we are tackling Grace Kelly by bifro’d buzz-whim Mika, a week after it entered the Top 3 and was focusing its beady eyes Number One-wards. Yet we can’t figure out what’s more annoying – the ridiculous new system or the song itself. The rest of the world hears a spage-age Freddie Mercury, we hear the Dustbuster ads circa 1993.

Another act riding on the crest of the New Year buzz wave are The Klaxons, albeit sat cosily in an inflatable dinghy rather than left clumsily doggy-paddling. Golden Skans is an active, high-gloss celebration of melody, cutting through the hype without effort. No doubt we’ll have grown to hate them within a month, but for now we’ll bestow them with our Single of the Week prize. In comparison, we’re finally seeing – three years on – why sceptics were so reluctant to get on board with Keane. We could only gush over Somewhere Only We Know for so long, and sadly A Bad Dream fails to pick up the baton. The elegant artistry is still very much on display, but there’s a desperate need for some inspiration here.

Finally, we’d hoped the hideous Laffy Taffy by D4L had been successfully flushed away without causing much damage. However, it’s somehow found its way back up the U-bend in the corn-flecked form of Chain Hang Low, a painful should-be hoax courtesy of Jibbs, who’s quickly established himself as the court jester of hip-hop. Novelty music has rarely sounded so odious.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

ive got the same jeans on for four days now say the klaxons, but when should you wash jeans?? ive been weating this pair for over a month.

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