Saturday, September 01, 2007

Single Reviews 03/09/07

So, a male Alice The Goon who conned the nation into believing he’d never heard of Shakespeare won the most pointless series of Big Brother yet. Hell, that’s almost on a par with someone who plays up to his mental illness and claims his dead friend visited him and told him he’d win the show, coincidentally revealed just in time for the opening of the final voting lines. Roll on BB9! And until then, enjoy the Single Reviews

We begin events this week with a soothing lullaby courtesy of Grace. Having already won us over with the uplifting Slowly, the theme is carried over into Sink Like A Stone effectively - perhaps, if anything, too successfully. Still, better to have two great songs produced from the same mould than making something different for the sake of it. If only the same could be said of the next of this week's singles...

Having finally squeezed the last drops of life out of the same rehashed idea, Girls Aloud are having to dig a little deeper on their newie, Sexy! No No No. Sadly, they’ve seemingly only encountered questionable titles and grammar. And while it appears to be entirely devoid of anything resembling a chorus, points are nonetheless awarded for the gale-force rock undercurrent and the most brazen use of a vocoder since Posh ‘n’ Dane.

Underlining DanceX as the most clueless talent show in televisual history are the as-yet-unnamed Winners Of DanceX Wot Won The Show And Were Bruno’s Team, with the repugnant Dancing In Repeat. A dated, awkward, sub-Sash mess featuring feeble, tinny vocals, not even the presence of in-show luminary Rana can act as a plus point. A future staple of Emap channels Top 20 Reality Losers music blocks.

Single of the Week goes to Hellogoodbye, thanks to the charming, clumsy, dulcet Baby It’s Fact, an effective move away from the Euro-stilton cringe-inducer Here (In Your Arms). Significantly more American, with an almost Wheatus-esque college rawk nuance, yet ultimately, it’s simply a gifted pop anthem.

The Noisettes place their electro-screechery on the back burner to bring us The Count of Monte Cristo, a comparatively dawdling, downtempo number amidst their catalogue of buoyant lunacy. A nice way to punctuate a frenetic album with a quick breather, but not necessarily single material.

Finally, hold aloft your cans of Elnett for the huge-haired metal of Nightwish, whose new single Amaranth nods to the most embarrassing 80’s rock sensibilities without a modicum of shame. Fair play to them, mind - it carries a degree of unaffected sincerity, although you’ve got to wonder who’ll buy it… anyone willing to part with money for this is already bound to have The Best of Bonnie Tyler knocking about.

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