Sunday, December 30, 2007

The Sloppy Dog 2007 Honours List

And so we reach the end of 2007, a year in which our hit counter almost went into orbit off the back of a single post about Jodie Marsh; a year in which we found ourselves practically boycotting Big Brother out of sheer tedium; and a year in which our posts have been slightly scarce (mainly due to the fact we’ve been writing for other websites which pay us).

But of course, we couldn’t see in the New Year without paying tribute to some of our favourite pop culture icons of the past 12 months. We’ll be back in mid-January, post winter sun holiday - until then, enjoy (in no particular order) our Sloppy Dog Heroes of 2007...

Matt Groening
The man was responsible (however indirectly) for Spiderpig. Do you really need any further reason? That said, few people managed to see beyond the key joke used to push the Simpsons Movie worldwide, and while it was admittedly hysterical, the film overall was a complete triumph. And while other shows of the ilk can only wish for such consistency (we can barely watch Family Guy after South Park’s fitting manatee ‘revelation’), The Simpsons continues to go from strength to strength with Matt Groening at the helm.

The Spice Girls
Where to begin? The mere fact that the Spice Girls decided to reunite is reason enough for them to be exalted in our 2007 honours list. Add to that a criminally underrated single (which gains them pity points), a frank documentary, an unequivocal apology from the Ginger Deserter, and undeniably the best tour they’ve ever put on, it’s like the best bits of 1997 all over again, only with great big bells on and slightly better outfits. Whether they’re just back for a brief visit or are here to stay, we’re entirely ecstatic it even happened at all.

Charlie Brooker
Effectively, for saying what we wish we had the panache, originality, vocabulary, and frankly, the balls to say. Screen Wipe (which we’ve now decided is two words) continues to provide a hysterical - if somewhat bleak - look into the grim world of television, while his Guardian musings guarantee a week-on-week display of utter genius. The most caustic and hilarious critic in Britain today, we officially want to be Charlie Brooker if and when we grow up.

…or whoever was initially responsible for this barmy yet addictive - and lest we omit, entirely necessary - web marvel. It’s hard to pin down personal favourites, although the classic “I Can Has Cheezburger?” will take some beating. And while it’s most likely little more than this year’s Hamster Dance, it’s induced doubled-over laugher at Sloppy Dog Towers on multiple occasions. This is exactly what the internet was invented for. Ya, rly.

Kevin Smith
A second year running on our list for modern cinema’s greatest mind (no sniggering at the back, PT Anderson fans). Again, we’ve had little exposure to the fruits of said mind in any kind of screen format this year, but in the meantime, his blogs continue to entertain, enthral, and drum up all kind of excitement for Zack & Miri Make A Porno. And hey, we’re happy to watch Clerks on a continous loop in the meantime.

Grace Dent
Principally, TV scrutiniser extraordinaire Grace Dent makes an appearance for all the same reasons as Charlie Brooker, albeit with a tad less poison. But supplementary props must be awarded for her superb Diary Of A Chav books, the third instalment of which we await with potentially pant-wetting anticipation. And of course, managing to provide a witty, on-the-ball commentary of what was a genuinely excruciating series of Big Brother - surely the stuff of an OBE?

Will Smith
A late entrant into our Hall of Disrepute, mainly off the back of the breathtaking I Am Legend. Special mention must go to Vue Plymouth for bollocksing up the reel at a vital point, yet even this couldn’t detract from a tremendous performance from the man himself. And much like Richard Hammond in last year’s list, Will Smith also appears as a result of being, quite simply, a jolly nice chap. Sir, we cordially add you to our line-up of celebs we’d like to go for a pint with.

The Boy Least Likely To
Not content with creating the superlative single of 2006, The Boy Least Likely To continue to give us reason to heart them completely. We’ve forgiven them the DFS fiasco entirely, as their January stop at Komedia in Brighton provided the gig of 2007. And Kevin Smith’s MySpace posts aren’t the only welcome stop-gap blogs between projects - each of Jof’s pleasant ramblings reads like an Enid Blyton book for the digital age. At this rate, the new album looks set to be one of the greatest of 2008.

Sarah Silverman
Sarah Silverman’s annihilation of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton this year was the stuff of legend (BTW, let the record show we have nothing against Britney - but it was hard not to both laugh and find some accuracy in what was actually a much-deserved dose of The Slaegin). Furthermore, her TV show highlights her unmatchable comedy brilliance, yet falls foul of lazy scheduling. Sort your shit out, Paramount, we’d hate to see Sarah pwn you to Kingdom Come. Actually, who are we kidding? We’d love to see that…

Shilpa Shetty
It’s hard to believe it was less than a year ago that saw Shilpagate - an incident which already feels like a historical event - send the blogs, the gutter press, the broadsheets, the House of Commons and effectively Planet Earth into an enraged meltdown. But coming out the other side of the bedlam was a woman that handled gross maltreatment with immense new levels of dignity, indirectly ended the career of insufferable scum-pig Jade Goody, and generated perpetual legendary quotes (“your claim to fame is this” and “Duck Benedict sounds like a dish” to name a couple). Dame Shilpa, we salute you.

Happy New Year, everyone! See you in 2008. xx

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