Saturday, July 29, 2006

Single Reviews 31/07/06

Siiiiiingle Reviews! Get your lovely Single Reviews here! Five for a paaaaahnd!

(Yes, we're aware that announcing the Single Reviews in the style of an East End market trader bears no relevance to anything. It's a dry day as far as ideas go, and we make no apologies.)

Failing to match the splendour of Steady As She Goes are the Raconteurs with follow-up Hands. Promising at parts, but all in all a schizo mess, inexplicably flitting into morose madness at regular intervals. Kinda makes us want the White Stripes back. Side projects are all well and good, but you've got to do better than this, Jack.

Vapid, cheap, futile, flashbulb-engulfee Paris Hilton illustrates her – ahem – passionate musicianship in Stars Are Blind. Aside from sounding like a cross between Jenny Frost and a Costcutter Gwen Stefani, the excruciating lack of feeling suggests she learned each syllable phonetically. Almost as funny as her home movie. Almost.

Scooping our Single of the Week honour are Captain, with the suitably-titled Glorious. Partly 21st century folk-rawk, and partly zoomed-in-on-a-DeLorean 80’s big-haired riff fiesta, it was always going to be a winning formula. At the other end of the scale, Everytime We Touch by faceless house worm(s) Cascada jiggles oafishly onto a thousand sticky dancefloors in Warrington, providing the stereotypical soundtrack to the regurgitation of one too many Reefs.

And finally, the gimmick parade is in full swing courtesy of Frank. Girls wot play instruments! A band wot has its own telly show! Sadly, no amount of novelties make this even slightly bearable. While they’re not quite the reincarnation of 21st Century Girls, I’m Not Shy is a watery, atonal disarray of pouts-without-prowess. Maybe the ugly reincarnation of Thunderbugs instead?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As ever i follow the sloppy with glee and have downloaded the Rackonterrrs and put it on my MP3, its nice.


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