Saturday, October 10, 2009

Single Reviews 12/10/09

We’re most disappointed this morning. We dared Kevin Smith via the medium of Twitter to insert the term ‘finger-cuffs’ into his conversation with Kirsty Wark during his Newsnight Review appearance last night. He sadly failed to do so. Not that we necessarily expected a man with over a million followers to even see our tweet, but still. Mind you, he wore a dressing-gown – a DRESSING-GOWN – live on a BBC Two news/arts show, so it’s a win for infantile all the same. Now, Single Reviews, anyone?

Banners, streamers and a bottle of own-brand champagne are in order to celebrate the return of Lostprophets. The fusion of agreeably-dirty rock with Muse-esque galactic boldness makes It’s Not The End Of The World But I Can See It From Here the mark of an exciting direction whilst maintaining the addictive Lostprophets sound. It’s also the kind of title a writer loves if they’re being paid by the word. (Sadly, we’re not.)

In contrast, a slightly less welcome return from Robbie Williams, who we’d hoped had crawled into a shell off the back of the inevitable Rudebox shame. But lo and behold, he’s dared to show his monkey chops once again. In fairness, it seems to have knocked the arrogance out of him (well, to an extent), with Bodies a slightly more grounded affair. Let’s not get too excited though – it’s still, by and large, shit.

Being the best X Factor winner in the show’s history is probably no massive achievement for Alexandra Burke given the other options, but a lot is riding on debut single Bad Boys, featuring the rent-a-rappery of FloRida. Although lyrically it all sounds a tad Sinitta, its ohrwurm quality is hard to shake off, and it’s an impressive display of a pop star with personality – unlike another female X Factor champion who shall go unmentioned.

Finally, we’re faced with a bit of a quandary. See, we’d like to think our reviews are entirely impartial here at The Sloppy Dog (unless you’re Mika, in which case the venom is a given). But now that Ash have embarked upon their scheme to release a single every two weeks, it’s likely they’ll be scooping Single of the Week on a fortnightly basis. So, in the interests of fairness, we’ll give the title to the alluring, melody-heavy, electro-lullaby True Love 1980 for now, and do our very bestest to rule ‘em out for the next year. How we’ll fare in executing this remains to be seen.

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